INTRO medical directive: right to die RTD | do not resuscitate DNR | aid in dying AID | death with dignity DWD

You can trust me.  I have your back.

ALA

On Sat, Mar 16, 2019, 8:23 PM wolf <wolf@amplifyroi.com> wrote:

JDM / ALA,

can i be morbidly frank and trust you to help me advocate for 'right to die with mercy and dignity' should it ever come to that?  there is no easy way to open this topic, so that was it.  no idea what the right way is to go about creating a medical directive so here it goes.  but i'm thinking to print this as page one of my directive. 

i am addressing this to two old friends i trust most who know the tone/angles of my 4D radical truth exploration ive put out for decades, who can relate given how they approach life.  the two most courageous people I know with a big will to live life on their terms and make the most of it no matter the cards dealt.  they both also experienced painful suffering we wish we could spare love ones.  i hope to evolve this with your help/feedback/input and to work out details, have you both as witnesses/champions as best you can.  i want to do the same for you, limited only by my own future health challenges. 

as dozens of symptoms come in waves, i had to start fast-tracking this outline/letter now, it is backed by 15+ years of meaningful thought/writings on the topic (proof in my mail system most of it addressed to self/rawtruth and to tanya).  with no time to lose, i made this medical directive available on my 'health journey' blog (bloodposture) so anyone can pull it up on any phone as reference on demand by searching on 'medical directive' and hopefully, anyone can copy/use ideas included as a template for creating their own. 

i need to know who in and outside my family i can trust to have my back when it really matters, in the likelihood i need help to enforce a medical directive i hope to finish asap.  i aim to incl family too, but am not confident i can rely on family, all parents, to suddenly hangup their culturally indoctrinated values and adopt my far out ideas or honor my wishes should i not be able to speak for myself.  i'm hoping i can rely on two unmarried friends to help me make the hard call per written preferences if i start losing my bearings or start sounding like a shell of myself, no longer like myself.  the family has to see each other forever after and my family isn't the type who talks about deep stuff nearly enough, so having someone outside family, and more 'unconventional' like me, makes sense.

to convince norm heads and most parents that what i value/seek is noble honorable, not debbie downer crazy talk, i will try to share new writings in separate addendums that are consistent with writings on the topic since 2000.  the system needs to be sure people are of sound mind when the wrote the MD, that it wasn't inspired out of desperation that can afflict us suddenly or gradually as chronic inflammation goes unchecked. 

its chronic inflammation (starts in the gut):  that is the true aim to tackle. i aim to change my diet to keto or paleo and keep my alcohol caffeine intake reduced and meet with my naturopath and/or local peripheral neuropathy clinic, doctors who consider gene studies and my gene profile ex. compound heterzyous MTHFR.

in short, i have been feeling more borderline aka worse every week for roughly 3-4 now, specially the last 2 (3/14, 3/15), this downward spiral started with a 15min vertigo/heartburn attack on 2/28/19 that left me with louder ringing in ears, more numbness/twitching up and down my L leg and now L arm, foot and hand, more trembling/jolts in all limbs, the over-signalling now affecting my ability to sleep, near daily rolling headaches, louder ringing, and a suffocation/breathless sensation that is no fun as if airways swollen like a choker, first half day more difficult than second half.  its like being horizontal may make it worse.  my foot has gotten 2-3x more numb in last 2 days, feels like i have a sponge in my L shoe.

last night was impossible to sleep, body trembling (like shivering but wasnt cold), jolting/twitching, pressure headache back of head/neck and icy/hot/numbing arm, not good at all.  wouldn't let me sleep, as if horizontal not good, so urgency on a dozen issues had me write this unsure at this rate how much worse it could turn within days.  at 7a i took a baby aspirin, within 10min the neck/headache disappeared as did most of the trembling, like it thinned the blood and got it flowing through blockages.  got 2hr of sleep, seeing a few spots today, moving slow/unsure of balance since vertigo 2/28/19.  last night felt compelled to get vitals checked. 

my last 2 weeks incl visit with neurologist who confirmed neuropathy/nerve-damage in both legs and L side weakness and ordered 4 CT scans to confirm or eliminate his primary hunch "mini strokes', check blood flow for blockages, tumors etc.  whether from the 5G rollout that began in areas 2 weeks ago (coincidence), or CT scans, it seems logically unlikely the doses will help alleviate nerve system issues vs exacerbate, but MRI is out re 'facemask immobility' so its CT scan.  i see no way around it, my hand is forced.

https://bloodposture.blogspot.com/2019/03/fwd-vertigo-episode-inner-ear-nerve_2.html

vertigo episode (inner ear nerve) + heartburn/reflux/gerd symptoms

https://bloodposture.blogspot.com/2019/03/mthfr-gene-and-peripheral-neuropathy.html

MTHFR Gene and Peripheral Neuropathy | Neuropathy Caused by MTHFR aka Vitamin Deficiency

https://bloodposture.blogspot.com/2019/03/fwd-confirmed-by-neurologist-2-l-side_15.html

confirmed by neurologist #2:  L side weakness, nerve damage and neuropathies in legs

recently diagnosed with neuropathy/nerve-damage in both legs and L side weakness, now unable to sleep, with frazzled nerves over-signaling/trembling, weeks like the last few  motivated me to get my medical directive ducks lined up before all of this gets the better of me and i can't complete the task on my todo for 15 years.  attacks can happen one minute to the next.  with all the patience/focus/anxiety/phobias hurdles/sensitivities starting to set in, i may already need help merging writings into a cohesive doc that makes sense.

since age 10 as my aunt judith was stuck for 10 years in a costly emotionally taxing vegetative state coma on life support re  brain tumor and 2 surgeries to remove it that were a waste of time, i have been 100% certain, that we all need an exit plan to avoid any similar scenario.  my folks also got their directives done which are simply 'pull the plug, no life support' which is now commonplace, but what i want happens way before that and goes way beyond it.

firstly, i want the world of friends and family to know (and they may not), that in my view, the single ultimate freedom politic that ranks at the top alongside human trafficking/pedophilia is 'right to die' end of life options.  i am a strong advocate of maximum right to die laws that grant anyone that freedom for nearly any reason incl 'i finished my bucket list and am ready to go' all legal diagnosis of sickness notwithstanding.

end-of-life right to die: 'treat me with the mercy we give wildlife and livestock'

we put them down to put them out of their misery if it is clear they wont recover enough to maintain the level of athleticism required to enjoy a fruitful life vs agonize a slow painful demise.  i want more mercy than we give wildlife livestock and roadkill.  for humans the system is generally rigged against such mercy and change is too slow in most states. 

i want (we all should want) the maximum freedom available on earth and a peaceful death with dignity end of life 'exit plan' with medical assistance on our own terms (last i checked it was belgium/switzerland and washington state).  should my situation get dire, help me get to such safehavens to checkout vs get stuck prolonging it all.

i now believe my rare MTHFR gene combo is an underlying factor in my chaotic imbalances and chronic inflammation.  and i think the sciatic attacks of 97 03 and 06 may actually have been mini strokes given each one left me with new neuropathic symptoms.

the 03 attack left me with tinnitus/histamine issues, the 06 attack left me with L ankle/toes tingling/twitching/cramps/atrophy/weakness.  and post-calgary 2014 it spread to incl my L arm/hand now incl shaking/trembling.  i've been coping 15+ years aka 'time served' so far.

one fear i have is that anything could happen at any time faster than i can get my directive finished signed and witnessed and faster than i can get family buy-in to honor my wishes that are so different than the norm, they'll seem extreme but that's the type of guy i am.

'dont want to die twice so DNR'

if i lose a pulse, let me rest in peace; do not administer aggressive DNR, no electric paddles.  since there is no such DNR distinction and since its an autopilot habit, DNR is simpler.  i've learned that 30% get broken ribs/sternum from chest compressions, and often rescues end up dead in ICU a few hours later.  it doesnt sound worth it to me.

to die in sterile bright light steel beds in hospital is not my preference (outside under open sky would be, home or hospice) but quick painless without fear/horror matter more. 

my preference would be to die instantly by lightning strike or die in hail of bullets/explosion or with a 'right to die' 5min peaceful concoction ideally alone and in an outdoor area with natural air/breeze.  quick with zero chance of choking or survival is ideal in my book.

if it gets real bad, hospice with outdoor/garden and caring professionals may be better than 2-story family home, until end of life cocktail secured.

• definitely no parents doing hospice in the home.  dad, has never had the empathy (or patience) for other people's chronic issues (not his fault, he just can't relate)

what i want & dont want

want to live a life:

• athletically able to some degree
• not dependent on many pills, injections
• not dependent on strong rx or painkillers
• not dependent on others to dress/groom/bathe
• unable to get around/evacuate on my own quickly
• unable to walk/jog/exercise, have fun or work on my own
• unable to express myself verbally and in writing or do research
• these would not equate a quality of life i would value or want to prolong

whether i lose these gradually or suddenly, please help get me to the freest most liberal state that grants the maximum 'right to die' with dignity end of life options ideally to anyone for any reason, because in a truly free will world, everyone should have the freedom to determine when quality of life is no longer worth every effort to 'keep alive' as the system is programmed to do by default.  humans deserve the mercy we grant wounded animals that stand no chance of full recovery, yet humans are forced to suffer 1000x longer.

dont value/want to live a life:

• with chronic imbalances/inflammation and ailments (ex. progressive pain/neuropathies) that corrupts neural tissues functions and organs and cascade into array of ailments that afflict the healthy body, mind, emotions, disposition if these can't be 85%+ reversed.

i think that's in in a nutshell, the rest is just more specific on similar preferences in case i can't speak on my own behalf...

• easy listening jazz, blues, country, world music playlist that isn't too busy, tinny, overwhelming, and subtle nature sounds of chirping birds, river, ocassional coyotes, wood peckers
• want cool breeze blowing on neck (to not feel clostrophobic trapped)
• want natural fibers on skin head to toe so skin can breathe (to not feel clostrophobic trapped)
• want enough anesthesia to not ever wake up middle of whatever procedure, dentists had to 4x dose me once and i still felt most of it until the 4th dose.
• dont put me in a box in ground, cremate with legit certificate to prevent scams i've read about that pretend to cremate and put you in a box, then put dust in the wind.

DNR

dont want to die twice

if no pulse, the worst is over.
RIP, do not reanimate if DOA.

RTD

max advocate of right to die for nearly any reason

victims, even if symptoms include depression, must be trusted to choose their poison

relocate victim as required to most liberal death with dignity right to die end of life states.

interventions

if > 85% recovery success rate

< 15% success too low to risk

if reversal of symptoms at all possible and restoring work-capable enjoyable quality of life.

if less, please consider hospice & 5min death with dignity right to die end of life options.

ideal

natural, dietary, rehab

least invasive aggressive risky

max comfort care and outdoor nature
doctors who consider ongoing gene studies ex. MTHFR

avoid  (case by case exceptions ok if chance to reduce 85% suffering and to restore 85% work-capable enjoyable quality of life)

spinal/brain and major organ surgery 

life support if patient may be in pain or feel desperately trapped inside unable to communicate

implants/transplants/radiation/vaccinations

anxiety amplifying strapped-down straight-jacket cage-like immobilization

=== rest is sandbox

---

innate anxieties -amplified by inflammation

clostrophobia / feeling trapped / acrophobia

feel trapped very easily, specially when as inflammation spreads

examples

stagnant air, close windows in cars, too many layers, synthetic fibers,
stop-n-go traffic, most dark basement park garages.